The social self. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
The sensitive among us aren’t always appreciated because we tend to feel things on levels others cannot and, therefore, cannot understand no matter how they might try. Often, we may not “appear” sensitive to others so much as “hyper-sensitive” and, as with any other “different” way of being in the world, it is often misunderstood and mis-labelled or stigmatized.
While I believe we are all sensitive to some degree, there are some of us who are naturally more sensitive than others. A close personal friend advised me to read an article in the August 2011 issue of Psychology Today saying, ”It is about you. Being sensitive is actually a condition.”
“As in disorder?” I asked.
“No, not at all, I didn’t say it was a disorder, it’s a condition some people are born with, that’s all,” he said.
I managed to find the piece online and couldn’t believe the visual they used for it because I have always said, “I am like the princess and the pea, I can feel it no matter how many mattresses you hide it with.”
My mother always said, “If there’s something wrong, Janice will find it.” Mom was referring to such things as finding a hair in food, bad odours or something out of place. I don’t think she ever fully understood the level of sensitivity I have but that’s okay. I am at an age and stage where I believe that only those who are like me could possibly ever understand it.
You will never find me crying over a beautiful hand-bag, nor do I suffer from any mood disorder but I have been moved to tears by a lady bug’s visit or an act of kindness so small as to be invisible, without echo save for the emotion I felt in witnessing it.
The article is very interesting and, while I do not personally possess all traits or attributes mentioned in relation to this naturally occurring condition, it was validating to read about something I have felt very alone in most of my life.
Now, I’ll share the link to the article for anyone who is interested in learning more about this fascinating topic that actually mentions genetic influences. Amazing.
http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/201107/sense-and-sensitivity
I love to read Psy Today! That’s an interesting subject to write on. Thanks for sharing!
It is a great mag, second only to literary publications in my choice of reading. It is an interesting subject and I wouldn’t even have known as I hadn’t seen the August issue, likely wouldn’t have made any effort with so much else going on in my world, were it not for my friend bringing the piece to my attention. Thank God for friends and thank you for swinging by
lately, i’ve been overly sensitive… I handle criticism in a destructive way… I know I shouldn’t however, I pour a lot of myself into such personal words and events… I need to find a way to distance myself in those instances…
loved this post…
T.
Glad you enjoyed! I think, perhaps, in my limited experiences and observation, that it is quite natural for us to handle criticism in a destructive way… initially… because we are in reactive instead of proactive mode… if, however, we can accept that as part of the human process while staying in check, physically and emotionally, we can come out the other side to place of productivity and insight that would otherwise not have been available to us. No reaction = no regrets in my world. Still, I do not mean, no reaction at all, that would be a robotic, non-feeling place to live and I’m incapable of that, personally. I simply mean that seeing all of it as a human process and letting ourselves go through it without reaction until we are in a position emotionally to react in a way that is line with who we are, our integrity and values so that none of those are compromised in the process. Well, that’s what works for me, T. Not a psychologist, have been told I should be, but I’m just a human being trying to share whatever I can with others. Glad you loved the post!
“I pour a lot of myself into such personal words and events… I need to find a way to distance myself in those instances…” I hear you! Please share the antidote with me when you find it!
Antidote? What antidote? LOL I think maybe laughter is our only antidote, that and lots of rest from the harsh realities of the world. I can jade up pretty darn fast if I don’t keep my pink cotton balls visually around me, LOL
Only the HSPs (Highly Sensitive Persons) among us will understand what we truly go through. We are kindred spirits in that way. It’s not a disorder or malfunction, it’s a gift. Sometimes the world overwhelms us. I think a lot of people could use a bit more overwhelming…;)
LOL LOL Concur entirely, Lorna, a lot of people could us a bit more overwhelming, LOL It’s amazing how you think you are alone until you connect with others who are exactly the same. So glad to be connected with you, being a Crazy Chick with all my peers is not only comforting but so much fun LOL
“Only the HSPs (Highly Sensitive Persons) among us will understand what we truly go through.” How so true! I only wish it didn’t come with so much work!
It is a lot of work but I love how you so openly self identify, Katerina! I think that is the first step to connecting with others who are experiencing life similarly and previously felt so alone or misunderstood, labelled as something they were not, just because we are different. The thing is, it is neither bad nor good so much as simply the way it is, like having freckles or not, having blue eyes or not, it’s not something we can change so we might as well learn to love it and treat ourselves with the TLC we need to thrive. Nice to know you, Sister Sensitive
Count me among those hyper-sensitive people. I’ve struggled all of my life to keep my emotions under control. I’ve finally decided that it is better to feel deeply than to not feel at all! I read a book once (wish I could remember the name or author) about sensitive people and it was highly informative.
So agree! Far better to be who we are and enjoy our lives just by finding out what works best for us and our personal style than conform or go against our grain. I bought a book several years ago called The Highly Sensitive Person:
How To Thrive When The World Overwhelms You by Elaine N. Aron, Ph.D. http://www.hsperson.com/#hspbook In searching for her information, I just stumbled across her interesting online test at http://www.hsperson.com/pages/test.htm
Most of us already know we don’t need that test to tell us we are highly sensitive but it’s good to measure actions/reactions of others around us, too, because I’m guessing there are people who are highly sensitive but call it something else or soldier on anyway, making themselves ill instead of making the adjustments needed to care for themselves. I wouldn’t doubt it if hers is the book you read! Feeling for you and with you as we journey on! Thanks so much for swinging by
Most people, society in general, would consider me not very sensitive. I rarely cry and do not become terribly attached to most of my friends. I think that kind of sensitivity is referring to neurotiscim, how emotionally stable you are, of which I am very stable. But I believe I am a very sensitive person to art, meaning and life. I think the conception that sensitivity has to be coupled with tears, loud expressions or overwhelming feelings is not an accurate one. When we delve into the world of psychology (of which I am currently a student, so what I say may not be accurate but at the moment it is what I have conceived) what we associate with words often dominates the meaning of that word rather than the true significance.
Sensitivity comes in all shapes and colours. I agree that most people underestimate the importance of being sensitive (particularly to life, love and pleasure) because it can be difficult to measure. If they cannot physically see, describe or measure it often people underestimate it’s importance because it may or may not be truth or even relate to them.
It may be random but one thing I loved about the movie Avatar was the importance of sensitivity, connectedness the indigenous race had with their land and each other. That connectedness and subsequent empathy is the essence of sensitivity (to me) and is what humanity needs to strive for to make our world a better place.
You have a lovely blog by the way.
I think I will pingback this article and clean up my response on Ermiliablog.
- Ermisenda
Thank you so kindly for your comments, Ermisenda. I love this paragraph you wrote: “It may be random but one thing I loved about the movie Avatar was the importance of sensitivity, connectedness the indigenous race had with their land and each other. That connectedness and subsequent empathy is the essence of sensitivity (to me) and is what humanity needs to strive for to make our world a better place.”
Beautiful. I also love your pages and plan to visit often. Sensitivity does come in all shapes and colours depending on the innate character, personality of the individual, then to complicate it further, we go back to the nature or nurture question and how much of who we are has been programmed into us or whether it is ultimately, expression of true self.
How true that people often need tangible evidence as with many people who are ridden with chronic disease and ridiculed for it because there is no physical proof. Sensitivity can also be judged like any other trait as in strength of character. Where one deems a body weak for a choice they made, another might see the decision maker in an almost heroic light. It’s all relative. For me personally, having the sensitivity to simply let others be who they naturally are is about as good as it gets. Unfortunately, I form attachments easily, especially where it’s a positive, reciprocal situation and find myself questioning my judgement when, in fact, I probably just need to accept who I am and let it be. So glad you shared your thoughts. Off to try and make the world a better place, one syllable at a time, lol
See you soon.
Janice
Hi, Aurora Morealist. I have been told that I am not sensitive. For one thing, I jog barefoot and it doesn’t bother my feet.
LOL… But, can you walk slowly on hot coals? (joking) I think the definition of sensitive is not definitive. It’s all relative. If there is nothing to compare to, how would we know what anything is. You have tough feet. Either that or you are jogging on pillows
I’m so glad I read this. It all resonates with me in a special way, including the part about “If there’s something wrong, Janice will find it.” I’ve sometimes thought I had some kind of bad luck (LOL), often being the one that senses out what’s wrong where before anyone else. Well, it’s good to finally put a name to it: I’m an HSP!
I’ve found that being a Highly Sensitive Person has often left me misunderstood and feeling dejected, so I’m now working on moderation. I see it as learning to speak the language others are using so that we understand each other better.
It’s actually “good luck” in my world because we notice things or sense things others can’t and that gives us an advantage in some cases that might otherwise prove dangerous. Understanding is the key and best we understand ourselves first, well, that’s what I try to do, because it may happen others never really understand us. But that’s okay because I don’t understand their insensitive, cold-hearted ways either, LOL Taking good care of myself and “cocooning” when needed makes a lot of difference for me. I just can’t go and go and go like other people do and I know this about me. No point going against our grain. More power to the Solidarity of the Sensitives, Katerina! LOL See you soon.
Reblogged this on AURORA MOREALIST ©2011 ~ Janis Justis, Writer and commented:
Reblogging for those who missed it or who did not comprehend the first “read” – enjoy
Reblogged this on Ralphie´s Portal and commented:
Here’s lookin’ at you, kiddo! Likewise…
Thanks, for the reblog, Ralph
I consider myself very sensitve. I am sensitive to others feelings and needs! I see it more as a positive spiritual gift of being able to understand and touch and feel others needs, hurt and pains, comprehending when something is wrong and being able to lift them out of their sadness. I cry when watching happy endings and sad endings. i am able to be empathetic, putting myself in their shoes to understand where they are at. I feel with that with this spiritual gift, that many like me are here to bring a positive balance into the negativeness in this world! I don’t know if that makes sense but thats me! Always you provide a new lesson learned!. I think you are perfectly fine just being you! Don’t change it, because its you best strength! But avoid extremes, walk as close to the line as possible neither overly sensitive or under sensitive…be yourself!
Yes, Positive balance, that’s what it is really all about, Wendell. So glad for you sharing some of yours with me! I’m more of a rebel heart than a line walker innately, but try to never deliberately hurt others. Still, I am only human and can only take so much “hurting” before I react. Better out of my head than locked in where it makes me ill. Thanks for dropping by
Thank you for posting this. I have passed it on too.
Thanks so much for the share, Ben! It’s important that others understand we are not all the same, not just in who we are but our emotional make up and what we relate to in the world. Individual to the core, all of us.
“Emotional make up”. Hmm, a thought-provoking phrase. I imagine painting on a smile for effect (and/or protection?).
hahaha Literal translation (in my mind, that is, lol): Whatever emotional experiences one had in life that make them either the nice person or not so nice person they are today. You are nice. I think. So far. LOL
Oh now. Do stop that. LOL