My Christmas Wish List …
Well, this is a toughie because I don’t know who could receive this list and make even one of the wishes come true. But I’m going to spout off anyway… who knows, if messages in bottles can make it to distant shores, perhaps the waves of the internet will carry this far enough to matter or make just a tiny difference to someone, somewhere.
1. I wish certain members in my family could believe that I do not write with the unkind intent to hurt anyone. Interpretation belongs to the reader alone. Okay, I’m only human. If I am provoked by nasty or cruel treatment, then I become as a former supervisor who still admires my writing said: “they don’t know what they are poking at.” Please understand, I live to write as I live to breathe. I wish I could temper my reactivity to stay in line with what or who I am dealing with but when it is unrelenting, I still have some moments of failure where I try to right a “perceived wrong” by writing and it never helps, just fans the embers vitriolic. So I guess I wish I had more patience with this type of thing and I wish assuming people everywhere would simply ASK questions before they go off like misdirected fireworks. Working on it.
2. I wish everyone in the world could know love. Pure, sweet, innocent love that supersedes all except the emotion and sentiment itself. I wish this because I believe if everyone really “knew” love, they would no longer be capable of “war.” In my own quiet way, working on it.
3. The photo with this post is of my cousin Lise’s baking a couple of weeks ago. I wish I lived near enough to pop over for tea with all of my favorite people in the world, especially relations who live so far away. And not just for the baking either, though it looks lovely, Lise! Working on it.
4. I wish I could find enough paying writing gigs to just write for my living instead of needing other jobs. Counting my blessings, people, never fear but the local job market does stink for someone with my skill set at the moment and I do love to write. Working on it.
5. I wish I had just one person in my life I could trust. One single person I could tell all my dreams, hopes, secrets to. One person who would keep all of my confidences so safe, everything I shared would die when we did. Shocking family communications and long time friend deceitful behaviours of 2011 have left me wondering if that is ever even possible. What once looked safe in my world is now cloaked in barbed wire I may never make it through again. Working on it.
6. I wish I could stop crying. Wait. I meant, I wish I could cry only tears of joy. They say when you smile your brain releases the same chemicals as if you were actually happy. Smiling as I write this now. It helps. See? Working on it.
7. I wish people were as genuine as I am. One of my sisters says I am naive. Maybe 32 years of marriage cocoons you in some way. Despite working in varied fields including with victims of violence, I don’t seem to have a strong handle on the ill-intended. I tend not to see them coming until I’m already bleeding. Maybe that’s why I was so good at my jobs, I don’t know. My Communications, psychology, conflict resolution and relationship dynamics courses are of no help unless I am among folks who genuinely walk their talk. Working on it.
8. I wish I could learn to move through my life the way my Wise Woman friend Lorna of Lorna’s Voice on my blogroll at bottom right of page, does. With a mind that is as sharp as any Mensa champion, she expounds on life in ways that are so unique, real, moving and haunting that you think you might cry. But you don’t. Because she has a way of arranging language that always leaves me laughing, no matter what. Read her yourself and you’ll see what I mean: http://lornasvoice.wordpress.com/ Meanwhile, I’m working on it.
9. I was thinking of spending Christmas alone. Wait! Before you feel sorry for me, I have done it before. Once. It was really okay. Okay I don’t have any photos or outstanding memories and no gas-producing turkey dinner was mine to be had. But I was perfectly fine. It happens a friend might find herself alone due to husbands unavoidable medical shifts and we may do a couple of days together, checking out Christmas light displays, walking by the sea, watching movies, painting our nails, talking, playing Scrabble (yes the old wooden board game, lol), reading by the fire and popping out for lunch or a drink if and when we please. See? It’s already sounding darn fine, isn’t it? Well, see, even if my friends plans change, mine won’t. A happy Christmas? Working on it.
10. I wish for each of you whatever it is you wish for yourselves, whatever makes you happiest in life, not just at Christmas but always. As for me, well, you know it. Working on it.
After reading this post, I had to do this: http://terri0729.wordpress.com/2011/12/12/where-is-the-one/ for you
with blessings and love, Terri
Your reply had me weeping… tears of joy and thankfulness for your kind, loving heart and words. Awesome. J
As long as they were the joyful ones, I’m happy then too! So glad that you liked it and I had not overstepped
Not at all! You warmed me from the toes to the nose
I wish more in the world were as loving and caring as you naturally are xo
this journey…this evolving…this pain….this experience…this life.
–Working on It—
Beatifully said.
btw, I’ve seen Lorna on several sites, but have not read her blog yet. I shall now. x
Thanks, Lovely Chick, so glad to be in the Crazy Club with brilliant brains like yours. You will love Lorna and grow addicted as I believe we all do if we read her just once, LOL. Happy reading! Thanks for dropping by. See you soon.
that food made me HUNGRY!!
Sorry, sweetheart, didn’t mean to challenge you there but since it is my cousin’s lovely homemade doing, I shall reprimand her promptly, LOL LOL
1. Let it go.
M
I know I know… so hard when it’s family… but when it’s not good for you anymore, there is nothing else for it… I do know… thanks for confirming what my heart already knew… clearing 2011 out well now, aren’t I? LOL
This is a great list, Aurora and you know celebrating Christmas alone with only one friend like that isn’t that horrible that’s true. After all sometimes all we need is simplicity
I hope that a shooting star has fallen by when you wrote this post.
No kidding it’s not horrible. Horrible is no food, no shelter, terminal disease… so many more things are horrible but this is actually a fortunate thing, I am very very lucky, whether I wind up alone or not on Christmas Day, I have food, I have shelter, I have warmth and comfort of people who love me near and from afar… but if I do spend it alone, it will be my choice because I have had a couple of invites for Christmas Day if I want to accept them, no pressure, just there if I want to show up at the last minute… just not sure I’m up to all the “socialness” right now LOL And you, lovely, are one fine shooting star
xo
Curiosity got the better of me and I peeked at this … I guess I expected a list of things you wanted for Christmas, you know … things, not THINGS. It was a lovely surprise to read through your wish list and the emotional connections of your wishes was surprising. I felt like I could cut and paste, with a few detail edits, many of your wishes, Thanks for sharing such a warm, heart-felt set of wishes.
My pleasure. Everything is emotional for me, I am an HSP through and through. There is no middle road. If there were I’d have surely found it by now. Heart resonance is where I live. So glad you enjoyed my “share.”
You’re more than “working on it” Janice; you’re doing it every time you publish your authentically beautiful voice. Have faith in the one thing that makes all the difference in the world: THIS MOMENT in which you have all the power to make any choice you wish to make.
And thank you for your most kind words about my journey and ability to write about it. I’m most humbly honored (is that an oxymoron?)
Love you,
Lorna
Overwhelmed. You just shut me up. Near impossible to do, deep breath here
No, it is not an oxymoron in my world, I understand it perfectly and likewise, soul sister, love doing my “earth walk” with you. Your pages are great and on days when I think I should pack this all in, I find inspiration or read a comment like yours that just tells me I must stay with it. So glad you are here with me, love you, too,
Janice
I especially like number 2. I’m wishing for that one, too.
With you there, brother, all the way, thanks for dropping in
What a great list! I wish for some of this too, especially #2. And I so agree about Lorna, too : ). Happy holidays, my friend!
Number 2 seems to be swiftly taking first place here, Pam, and I suppose it’s a common wish for all of us. Thanks for your festive wishes and wishing you all the very best right back
I hope Santa makes some of your wishes come true
Nice list J.
Thanks, TC, and yours as well… I suppose some of our wishes may be reflective of the holiday sentiment, an annual swelling of collective hearts wanting all in the world to be well and stay well… ah well, if one cannot dream, what is left
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Thanks for the share, Daphnee, you are a sweetheart
Genuine people are a rare find. Whether you are naive or ‘just’ have a pure soul, you are a treasure!
Oh! What a lovely good morning surprise, Christine! As are you and Anto, both, treasures and much loved! Merry Christmas to both of you xo
Aurora, I love you G…