Tags
My co-worker ate too much and claimed she didn’t. She chewed with her mouth open and always smacked so loudly the slurping could be heard clear across the office. A human combine whalloping the food around in her mouth so that I had the urge to just smack her. Or hold up a mirror so she could see the effects for herself.
Lumbering around in her negative wallow, she couldn’t grasp that eating less and moving more would prove less bulky.
At her desk she sat with a drawer full of empty sweets. My thyroid, my thyroid, she cried between bites.
She never even noticed that I could not eat around her. Not one bite.
All those days I went hungry.
Now that is what she should really get a smack for.
~~~
(c) JAM 14Jan2012
Cute.
LOL Well… I did say I’m out of the box thinking… so today is a different thinking day
Oh, My,
X
if I worked w/ her, perhaps my ass would shrink a bit.
LOL Mine did/does/will, lol. I had the piece in drafts for so long, decided to finally let it go. Just being lazy today…happy Saturday, chickie
I think she may have been my office mate before or after she was yours. Alex chewed gum so loudly that she could be heard down the hall, and when it was real food it frequently jumped out of her mouth to get away from the noise.
And then there was a co-worker who ate cottage cheese with fruit. She was often laughing, and she’d stick her cottage-cheesy-tongue out whenever she did. Uhgh.
I’ll stop now. I think you touched a nerve! I wanted to smack them both!
LMBO OMG Can I just post what you said instead of what I said? You are howling funny woman! Love it. It’s true, we all know somebody who touches that nerve, man, woman or otherwise. I just used woman because a woman co-worker did annoy me eating like that, ew, memories, lol. Thanks for the giggles
YOU hit the nail right on the head — especially with this line:
A human combine whalloping the food around in her mouth so that I had the urge to just smack her.
Classic. They should make a film.
LOL Well, first we have to write the book/script, don’t we? Where do you live, by the way, I’ll be right over so we can wrap this thing and live on an island far from combines and other such annoyances
I think we need to meet in the middle — I’m in Northern Virginia
!
Owie. Vancouver Canada. You were right the first time. Middle distance is pretty far for either one of us to do any popping, lol. This would take some $ and planning. And years of failed plans thereafter as the best laid plans are wont to do. Distance work is possible if we think so, though. You never know
Oh yes, the cows. Yotaki
If I ever recover from laughing (with you, not at you), I’ll thank you for dropping by, Yotaki, LOL LOL
Look at it this way. Not eating round her was as good as dieting.
’twas and I have been much heavier in my life but never behaved so poorly… ever LOL
Oooh, I cannot stand lip smackers! I am guilty of eating too much and not moving enough, but I hope, hope, hope that if I EVER start inhaling my food and smacking my lips, somebody WILL slap me. Actually, that mirror idea would be better. Ugh.
LOL Ya know, certain people can be forgiven if they are as busy as you are with no time to chew properly… lol So don’t worry, I will never slap you even if you do start up. I think many of us, myself included, can say we are guilty of eating too much and not moving enough. WordPress.com really has not helped has it. Yup. That’s it. The blame game. Works for me, lol.
That sounds totally gross. I lost my appetite.
LOL ’twas. Some never do learn common courtesies, civility and mannerly communication regarding same. Ah, life. Without it, there’d be so much less to complain about. Or lose winter weight over, lol.