“Let’s Talk” is a very worthwhile initiative for helping anyone struggling with mental health issues. Read more here:
While I’m not a Bell user, I know many are and that there are many other ways we can help with this issue so many stigmatize and want to shove under the carpet as if there is something wrong with those of us who speak out about it.
Check out the site, the good work being done in mental health and thanks for your support, whatever way you choose to give, even simply being kind to a suffering soul is a form of helping.
Last year, after I lost my mother, job, dog, boyfriend of a year to his online dating site addiction, kept passing out due to low blood pressure breaking my nose in three places, etc etc etc, I became suicidal.
Yet, I felt I couldn’t tell. Because people would think me crazy and that would be that for that. Well, as I’ve said a thousand times, I have not lost my intelligence, only my coping skills. Overwhelmed, I just couldn’t see a better way. Thanks to support from people I do not even know, some I have never even met, I am here.
No thanks to a long time friend who I finally got the courage to tell. Her reply: “Oh, I don’t know what to say now that you might commit suicide on me.”
Her obvious insensitivity is indicative of her self-centered way of being in the world, I was always the support person in hers. We are no longer friends.
Another friend who works in health care violated me in the worst way possible shortly thereafter, leaving my psyche in tatters of hurt I never imagined such a trusted friend would cause me. So much for religion and faith and attending mass, it’s all a false front for some deviants.
Lest I lose my train of thought, I want to say that the losses and challenges I was coping with, including getting out of a long time marriage that involved major life transitions, changes financial as well as emotional, living conditions, location, etc, I then suffered the loss of two friends, each spanning roughly two decades.
My supports were dwindling fast. My mind was reeling. This thrust me into a dark depression the like of which I have never known in my life. We all have down periods, I know, but this had a ferocious grip on me that wouldn’t let go. Every time I just made it up out of the black abyss, my fingers clinging to the edge as I struggled to find my footing, another blow, something or someone else taken away from me and nowhere to turn. I barely know where to turn now for obvious reasons, trusted sources of support have treated me in the cruelest fashion known to a suffering person.
Luckily, I had the good sense to find some professional resources who are working with me to get out of this. But I have spent a couple of years in this place now and it’s going to take a lot of work. I am doing it as fast as I can. I’m sick and tired of people who can’t see anything wrong, seeing what you achieve and manage to do in spite of it all (ie: 3 courses last year, etc) that you must be okay, “what could be wrong with you?”
I did not say there was anything wrong with ME. I am saying there is something wrong with insensitive people who have not traversed the blackest road known. Do not judge anyone for you never know when you might be thrust down that road by life events you could never even have imagined.
Mine is compounded because I never gave myself permission. I would look around me and think, well, I’m not good enough, not going fast enough, etc because look what everyone else is achieving, I have to do more, be better, try harder, I’m just not trying hard enough.
Oh, yes. I did. Until I finally realized, I am not “them,” I am “me.” Doing what is right for me instead of others has been a tough lesson, still learning it. In the meantime, I am screaming loudly for all who suffer the darkness and think they may never see light again. There is help available. I found talking about it one of my best healing methods, probably the best so far.
If Clara Hughes can speak out about it, so can I. http://www.theglobeandmail.com/sports/more-sports/clara-hughes-conquers-the-dark-weight-of-depression/article2330524/ Thank you, Clara Hughes for being a bright star on the path to more light for those of us still fighting the good fight daily.
As Leonard Cohen said:
“There is a crack in everything. That’s how the light gets in.”
May your walk be gentle and may you carry a soft pillow.
Clara Hughes, you rock, woman! Thank you, thank you, thank you!