REAL WORLD relationships destroyed for ONLINE thrills…

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When I heard of one marriage of 27 years ending due to online addiction, I was shocked that my friend’s husband could place more value in a “toy” than in her. By the time he decided to go for the help she wanted him to get, it was a year after the opening discussion and she had emotionally disconnected, no longer even wanted to try because she could never go forward without trust and she could no longer trust him.  They divorced. Two years later, lonely and distraught, he fell ill and died. Alone.

When I heard of another marriage hitting the skids for the same reason, I was stunned to think grown adults could make such asinine choices to harm their loved ones as this one affected the entire family.  He was an absentee father in every sense of the word with three kiddies and a wife who had learned to function without him. Until she, the wife, realized there was really no point having him in their world because he chose a “toy” over all of them and she was reduced to caring for what she viewed as “four children.” She is happily remarried, he is still alone, moving through relationships swiftly – none lasting more than a few months – as each new hopeful woman learns what his true M.O. is, they move on. Alone.

There are many women who grow addicted to the internet, too, I don’t deny that. All I know of up close and personal is these two situations. This much is too many to me. It also indicates there are many more out there I know nothing of who suffer due to online addiction.  What I cannot fathom and never will, is why? How can a “toy” sever such goodness with such finality? I’ll never grasp it and I don’t want to, really. It just truly saddens me.

I could go on about how the internet is rife with false images, in some cases even the sex of a person is inaccurately related so that you many not even be speaking with the gender you thought, let alone the person! (happened to a male friend of mine) Yet, people persist in these situations thinking themselves “in a relationship” when they really just need something to do with all their lonely hours.  At least that’s what I have seen apart from addiction, I mean. A lot of single people spend hours chatting/texting/sexting (sexting is a new term I just learned last week – it makes my eyes ache just to think what it means) and when they finally meet a good person in the real world, they are unable or unwilling to part with their patterns of behavior. It is not fair or kind or even remotely respectful to the party in real life.

There is more I could say, having been on many different dating sites for a couple of years, paid and unpaid, all the same. Lots and lots and lots of misleading photos, statements etc and very little, if any at all, genuine integrity. No wonder kids think it’s okay to go kill people. Or rapists think it’s okay to rape people. Or human traffickers think it’s okay to sell human beings. Or pedophiles think it’s okay to slobber over pictures of children. Our “de-humanization” as I see it, is well and truly in full swing. They aren’t really people are they, they are just part of a “toy” or machine or an online “role playing” game… where nobody really matters.

Gods and Angels that be, help us all. Amen.

27 thoughts on “REAL WORLD relationships destroyed for ONLINE thrills…

  1. This happened to my son, with his first love. Sigh.

    That said, while I don’t go onto dating sites, I am not always open to having my husband look at drafts on my blog. Just cause he doesn’t like being mentioned. And I mention him a fair bit!

    • LOL I know. I don’t go on dating sites since January have been and am in situation where people I care about are addicted to being online. Addicts don’t stop being addicts, I’ve heard, they just change their addiction… why couldn’t it just be me… sigh… lol

    • Thank you for understanding and for the work you are doing to bring this very important and most unhealthy mode of being to the forefront. I am so excited for your work, Peter, I know your brilliance already and am sure you will awaken many who live in a texting, “sexting”, technology, video games, social site UNREALITY! :)

  2. Pingback: On life and writing: disconnect to connect | According to Dave

  3. Some time ago I read an article about business owners feeling that they had to be accessible 24/7 through their smartphone in order to stay competitive. One woman even shared that her kids got so disgusted, they threatened to flush her Blackberry down the toilet if she didn’t turn it off. Social media aside, long ago I noticed that these technological advances, purportedly to make our lives easier, were in fact making us slaves. First it was the workplace. Now it’s everywhere. I love technology and I’m definitely online a lot, but none of my social media accounts could ever take the place of a relaxing dinner with close friends. And most definitely I enjoy face-time with my husband and am so grateful that he is anti-social media. Keeps us balanced :) Great (and necessary) post, Aurora!

    • I just read a great piece by a comrade blogger and he included a super video that says it all! He does, too, of course, it’s all good. Will try to find it for you and share. I do get that we are stuck with it but agree with you that some can become slaves to it. Not me. I do what I need to onlne or must do and go as fast as I can to get off again so I don’t ever give my psyche the notion that it’s good for me because longer than we need to be at anything is never a good thing, lol. jmo Thank you for the comment and for validating my REALITY – online is one thing but loving my real world always, I just ask myself if I could live without online and I sure can. But I can’t live without my people I love and want to see, you are so right, all about balance. Healthy balance :)

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