When I heard of one marriage of 27 years ending due to online addiction, I was shocked that my friend’s husband could place more value in a “toy” than in her. By the time he decided to go for the help she wanted him to get, it was a year after the opening discussion and she had emotionally disconnected, no longer even wanted to try because she could never go forward without trust and she could no longer trust him. They divorced. Two years later, lonely and distraught, he fell ill and died. Alone.
When I heard of another marriage hitting the skids for the same reason, I was stunned to think grown adults could make such asinine choices to harm their loved ones as this one affected the entire family. He was an absentee father in every sense of the word with three kiddies and a wife who had learned to function without him. Until she, the wife, realized there was really no point having him in their world because he chose a “toy” over all of them and she was reduced to caring for what she viewed as “four children.” She is happily remarried, he is still alone, moving through relationships swiftly – none lasting more than a few months – as each new hopeful woman learns what his true M.O. is, they move on. Alone.
There are many women who grow addicted to the internet, too, I don’t deny that. All I know of up close and personal is these two situations. This much is too many to me. It also indicates there are many more out there I know nothing of who suffer due to online addiction. What I cannot fathom and never will, is why? How can a “toy” sever such goodness with such finality? I’ll never grasp it and I don’t want to, really. It just truly saddens me.
I could go on about how the internet is rife with false images, in some cases even the sex of a person is inaccurately related so that you many not even be speaking with the gender you thought, let alone the person! (happened to a male friend of mine) Yet, people persist in these situations thinking themselves “in a relationship” when they really just need something to do with all their lonely hours. At least that’s what I have seen apart from addiction, I mean. A lot of single people spend hours chatting/texting/sexting (sexting is a new term I just learned last week – it makes my eyes ache just to think what it means) and when they finally meet a good person in the real world, they are unable or unwilling to part with their patterns of behavior. It is not fair or kind or even remotely respectful to the party in real life.
There is more I could say, having been on many different dating sites for a couple of years, paid and unpaid, all the same. Lots and lots and lots of misleading photos, statements etc and very little, if any at all, genuine integrity. No wonder kids think it’s okay to go kill people. Or rapists think it’s okay to rape people. Or human traffickers think it’s okay to sell human beings. Or pedophiles think it’s okay to slobber over pictures of children. Our “de-humanization” as I see it, is well and truly in full swing. They aren’t really people are they, they are just part of a “toy” or machine or an online “role playing” game… where nobody really matters.
Gods and Angels that be, help us all. Amen.