Jean-Baptiste Greuze - The Complain of the Wat...

He: You don’t complain enough.

She: Complaining is a waste of time. Isn’t it?

He: Not if you let people walk all over you. You let people walk all over you. You don’t complain enough.

She: Okay. Well, I would like to insert a possible complaint here now then to you.

He: (Grins but isn’t really sure he should be, you can tell by the grin)

She: Are you saying I let you walk all over me?

He: No (really grinning now), I didn’t mean me. I meant your friends, your landlord, your service providers, your ex, you don’t say anything to them, you just let them walk all over you.  

She: (Grinning and meaning it because she knows why she loves this guy more and more.)

(c) AuroraMorealist

(He’s right, I never ask for help, I hate to ask for help and when friends refuse help if I do summon the courage to ask, I feel ashamed I asked so I don’t ask again. The problem: I am so tired and so overwhelmed with PTSD symptoms, I cannot even bother to complain of anything anymore… What once was a problem of “worthiness” is now a problem of “weariness.” If I can’t just type a few words to address the matter – whatever it may be at that moment – then it just goes unaddressed.  Usually. In terms of healthy relationship boundaries, I would have to agree, ‘he’ is right on this one where I am concerned. Learning, learning, learning as I grow…)   Photo credit: Wikipedia

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  1. I’ve come to the conclusion that complaining about everything is possibly a waste of time. It’s a case of prioritising complaints and using any energy you have in addressing the most important issues. Then your complaint has impact; it hits home. If one complains all the time — often about things impossible to change — then people get bored and close their ears. Anyway, unfocused complaining drains one of energy, as well as everyone else around one.

    Big hugs to my soul sister. I loved your dialogue in this post. Sorry I’ve been neglectful of you lately, but am still trying to polish up my novel (started on January 1st), so I can start the submission process. Please bare with me a little longer, and I’ll be doing a huge blog catch-up.


    • No worries, Sarah, we do what we can when we can! You are so right about not complaining all the time… I was married to a nag and he never let up. I didn’t even realize until after I left him. A sister told me she thought he always harped the sh*t right out of me. Lightbulb moment. He was born angry, I think. But never did anything about it Even when a boss called him in one day to ask if he thought he was managing his anger okay. For years I asked him, what are you so mad about??? Nothing was ever right or good enough. He will probably die mad or escaping his demons via the multiples of addictions I lived through. Oooops, I am complaining. LOL So not. Just that I used to dread him coming in with his dark clouds of anger and inner unhappiness he always projected outward in the form of relentless and often cruel complaint and criticisms. Sorry I haven’t been around much either, I got a collection of poems I wrote while healing cut and pasted into a book. First “real” book. Crappy I know, but it saved my life. It really did, writing those verses, I mean. Happy writing on your novel <3

      • That’s wonderful, you gathering together your poems and pasting them into a book, and I bet it’s not crappy, either. Often, the gentler and kinder the person, the harsher a critic they are of themselves — especially if they’ve had to suffer years of being criticised by a bully, as you were by your ex-husband. All the poems I’ve seen of yours are lovely.

Love and peace to you... your thoughts are always welcome here...

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