1. Is it okay with you if your girlfriend or boyfriend has unhealthy addictions issues?
No. I don’t think addictive personalities have the will to stop the compulsion. That’s the ugly part of it. The addiction may change or be multiple addictions. But it’s the lack of control and willpower over the compulsion that freaks me out. Can’t handle it. Unless and only if the addiction becomes healthy as in fitness etc
2. Is it okay with you if your partner flirt chats online or in person with the opposite sex?
No. If they do that then I would assume that it’s okay if I do it with lots of other men, too. But this is where the rubber meets the road in my world. Why would I want to do THAT in a healthy relationship? I would NOT. So, I personally believe it is better to be alone and healthy than settle for rude, insulting behavior like that in the real world. Not attractive to watch anyway, so telling on the person doing it, don’t want to ever do that to anyone myself.
3. Is it okay with you if you discuss an issue that keeps coming between you three times and the “resolution” is forgotten, the issue remains?
No. If it was discussed more than twice, in my world that is called NAGGING and I hate to be nagged so will not nag. I’ll just maybe say one day, this really isn’t working for me anymore because the issue we discussed that had an ‘easy fix’ is still unresolved. I cannot go on like this. It is not fair or respectful to me to accept something I find totally repelling me away from you any more than it is okay for me to lead you on pretending that I can settle. Sorry. I can’t.
4. Is raising your voice okay to make your point?
No. Raising your voice to yell another shut means reason is absent. If reason is absent, then it doesn’t matter the words, it will only escalate the situation, polarizing the parties further apart in my experience.
5. Is it okay to accept a health condition in a relationship?
That depends on whether I was told up front and had the option of continuing or found out another way. I feel I can live with it if it does not interfere with any of our activities together or is caused by self harming/health negligence. If someone is self-harming or negligent toward their health, they need to get healthy before they ask anybody else to take that on. It’s unfair to leave out health conditions when dating especially when things grow serious. Nobody likes those kind of shocks because it feels like, if they withheld this, what else was selectively withheld. Just not fair.
6. Is it okay to talk about your partner to other people?
No. Unless it is a polite, complimentary conversation. If anyone tries to talk about my boyfriend/girlfriend to me, I cut them off at the pass. If you are “dissing” your friend/ partner /boyfriend /girlfriend to others who will agree with you or your position, you are already betraying the relationship in my opinion. Unless you share THAT talk with your partner, it is obviously unhealthy. Talking directly to one another is the most constructive, healthy way for any relationship (friends, lovers or otherwise) to proceed in my opinion. Anything less than honor for the other is a no brainer. Should your partner ever discover that you did this, the relationship will likely terminate. (Mine would, can’t stand two faced, immature people.)
Just thinking aloud tonight because I hear the term deal breaker so much in relationships these days. What are yours?