Holiday Lonelies

English: A slice of homemade Thanksgiving pump...

Trigger warning! You may want to shoot me after this, written when I was a much sillier girl than I have grown into…

Do you find yourself feeling alone at holiday times?

Do you wish the societal and social pressures of “happy shiny family gatherings” would just evaporate?

I do.

That is not to say I don’t appreciate those images but what I do appreciate is that the representation is almost entirely false.

You see, they left out that Aunt Marg will get so drunk she’ll walk right out of her bloomers in the loo and leave her wine low enough that little Micky can reach it.

You think Aunt Marg is a bad drunk?

You’ve never seen little Micky.

Up he jumps onto any lap that will have him (closer to the booze that way), clowning and performing as all good children and pets are trained to do.

Why is this so odd? Because he is normally a shy, retiring type  of six years who prefers to retreat to his room and play whenever the family descend for the holidays.

Booze changes people.

Adults will forget they left their drinks within such easy reach. They will be pretty tanked themselves and think it quite cute when Micky acts up.

By the time he finds Aunt Marg’s bloomers, she won’t need them because she will be at the handsome single neighbor man’s house doing who knows what with who knows who but at least he won’t be alone for Christmas this year.

And Oh! The arguments. Doesn’t everyone just love a good old fashioned argument?

Unless it’s all of your siblings at it because they are already arguing about who will host the next arguing holiday. 

Who will have Mom and Dad, who will take the Easter dinner…

With the advent of so many blended families and divorce about as common as marriage, children and step children are being argued over – who will they be with next – who will have them for how long and when – when all they care about is getting back home to their friends who let them just be children… no matter the occasion, no matter what they are eating. Saying thank you for their gifts can be the end of the holiday for most will not be seen again until the next Christmas… Well, perhaps on their birthday. If the parents are lucky.

Then you have your cliques. You know. The same group hang with the same group no matter the occasion.

You can just feel the air growing sharp with sarcasm they don’t say loud enough to hear but that’s okay, their mutually rolling eyeballs and gestures do all the talking they couldn’t be bothered walking.  It doesn’t matter what the event or occasion, this bunch can find a corner in a round room from which to dispense and exchange their snide remarks about everyone else at the gathering. (Did you see what she WORE??? Oh, he certainly has been off the wagon so long the wheels have rusted. Get a load of that stuffing – mushrooms? Who puts mushrooms in their stuffing? I don’t know whatever possessed her to think she could even make home made gravy…)

 

Dear Jesus, I pray at such times, despite the fact I am neither Christian nor a religious follower of any sort only rather a free spirited spirit all my own, kindly let me drop dead before Easter. I just can’t listen to this gong show one more time. Amen. And thank you.

And check out Grandpa Reggie. He’s fast asleep by the fire, his hearing aids safely tucked away at home.

Save for passing him a plate of food and  chunk of overbaked pumpkin pie, he doesn’t really join in or pay much attention to anything any more.

Appears Grandpa Reggie is the only one with the way to do Christmas down pat, all alone despite all the lovely people.

Everyone vows they won’t be doing this again. The long highway drive through near white out conditions.  Nossir.  The planning, the buying, the ideas all burst like every good cartoon bubble above the characters’ heads. Not going through this ever again. 

What a bunch of liars.

(c) 2006 JAM (AuroraMorealist)

(photo credit: Wikipedia)

Internet “Connection” Threat

Cottage near Lake Michigan in Shorewood Hills,...

What would we do without our computers?

I want just one weekend FREE of all gadgets, computers and phones.

Just one weekend, Gods and Angels that be. No computers. No tablets. No cell phones. Ereaders that cannot get online. Period.

Yesterday I cartoonized my profile photo on Facebook just for the fun of it.

A man (person, woman, we’ll never know for sure) wrote to me telling me how beautiful I am and how much he wants to get to know more about me and could I please send him my email address so that we can continue to get to know one another.

I was a CARTOON bobblyhead thingy!  Just like Rob Ford (without all the drugs and bad choices he keeps saying he moved on from – what about everyone else – collective mind wipe? Could work. But I doubt it).

Is this what not having any other ‘easy’ arm chair form of entertainment has done to us?

Relegated us to sofas and armchairs that glue our butts so fastly we don’t need to get up and go out and do anything in fresh air ever again or go socialize just for the sake of seeing a REAL LIFE friendly face…

Strangers so desperate for communication they use people online for their sheer entertainment tittilation, sexual or otherwise scamming just because they have nothing better to do?

Are they even aware that not every face on the internet is who they “appear” to be?

An online “presence” is not worth much in my world. It is, in fact, a whole other world. One we must often join in just to survive.

Neighborhoods fall as silent as I do in dismay at the prospect of MORE of this. 

More streets silenced as children stay inside to “play” online.

More children alienated in their own homes by parents who provide every machine or gadget under the sun without actual parenting.

More adults addicted in droves to the “online thrills” of chatting with people who don’t know they don’t even look like the photos they put up.

Sexy woman? Might be a man. Was, in fact, in case of  a horrified male friend.

Sexy guy? Might be a woman spinning a scammer tale from a faraway country…

If it actually IS the man or woman in the picture…well… what is he or she doing online so much if he or she is REALLY that great of a catch?

computer eyes

(Insert human telling on self with own CHOSEN behaviors  - ugliness to behold, NOT attractive, very unattractive and rude to watch, really.)

Survival is just not looking that attractive right now.

Survival of the fittest is almost a joke with more and more of us growing more unfit by virtue of the time invested in stillness to tend gadgets as though they are gardens constantly needing pruning, culling, perking, hoeing and poking.

A cabin in the forest, a cottage by the sea, a rural mountain home are all screaming my name as I write this on this machine.

Here. Where I wish I couldn’t be. You see the majority rules and the majority don’t want books anymore, they have Ereaders… if it’s not on the internet, did it really happen… or is it just another tree falling in the forest as corporations force us to go paperless or pay for our sins of wanting a paper bill to pay, file and have as record if we so desire… are we not “paying” enough already…

What if the whole world suddenly blacked out? Could you survive? Would you want to?

I believe I would and could. Much better than I am now. My life would be much more peaceful. I could relax without blaring TV, pinging computer or beeping phone dogging me, never letting me truly rest from the assault on my senses. And this is all unrelated to the fact that all over stimulation aggravates PTSD (a trauma syndrome I suffer since 2011).

Dreaming only of  being where there is wind, breeze, birds, no crowds, no gadgets, no sound, just quiet of nature indwelling your being with the calm, soulful restoration every human needs. 

If man gives his power and control so freely to machine that he becomes little more than Pavlov’s dog, there really isn’t much to go on for or look forward to… is there?

How I miss my humans.

(c) Aurora Morealist

When I was a child…

Family watching television, c. 1958

When I was a child there was no such thing as “family time.”

That’s because all the time was family time. The rest of the time was for school, visits with friends or extended family time.

Family was who you spent all your free time with. Family was who was there when nobody else was. Family time was all the time in a natural fashion that never really made me think about it until now.

Do you remember anything like this? You played with siblings, did chores for parents, did your homework at the kitchen table and most of the time couldn’t be found because you were outside… playing with friends and family.

Now we see commercials promoting “outdoor play” while playgrounds and parks stand mostly idle save for young mums with tots in tow who likely, once independently mobile, will likely discover the joy of computers, television or video games to leave the playgrounds a distant memory as many do.

Now we see advertisements for “family time” and “family dinners” as though they are the anomaly because … they… are.

They must be or we wouldn’t see these ads, would we?

When I was a child if we went to a restaurant and sat there engrossed in even so much as a book, we were told to close the book until we were alone to read. Recently I saw a family, an entire family, all the children and all the adults sit down in a restaurant next to us where they all pulled out their respective gadgets and save for placing their food orders which they never even thanked the server for, stayed fastened to their gadgets uttering nary another word.

When I was a child if we went to visit people, we did not sit there engrossed in a book or a gadget or watching TV. If we did, we ran the risk of getting a verbal clout upside the head for our rude behavior.

When I was a child and family or friends visited us, it was an honor. You shared your food, your time and yourself freely, wistful already when they left for the next time they would visit. Had we any gadgets to be preoccupied with, I’m sure the visitors would not have graced us with their company again. Not to mention the telling off we would have gotten from our parents.

When I was a child we never saw a proliferation of commercials for “activity” or “losing weight.” Come to think of it, we never saw food ads in proliferation either… Kraft foods is all I can really remember. Then again, we never saw a lot of television – we didn’t get the channel reception anyway or we were already outside playing – and that explains why what I did see is so vivid in my mind.

When I was a child we weren’t allowed to be publicly rude or dismissive of any person any time. We had to be kind first and if the person didn’t deserve our kindness, then we stepped back.

When I was a child the internet did not exist.

When I was a child, “family time” was not an advertisement.

(c) Aurora Morealist

(photo credit: Wikipedia)