In the electronic age where information abounds and can travel nanoseconds faster around the globe than almost anything else we know of, I think it’s pretty simple.
If you don’t want it “out there,” just don’t do it. As a creative writer, my life is pretty much an open book as is the case for most writers out there. Your brains on the page, like it or not.
Years ago when I objected to so much being online instead of social exchanges in the real world, a cousin said,”just don’t put anything up you don’t want out there.”
I think the crossroads of reality and virtual occurred years ago and I am awfully late writing this but if you don’t want it out there, it’s simple: Just don’t do it.
What is between a couple is between a couple. True enough where respect and healthy relationship dynamics exist that they may continue being a healthy, respectful couple.
But here’s where the road gets sticky before the rubber even meets it. What if they are no longer in a couple and there was much you did not know about one of them but probably should know if only for the safety of children in your world? Or if one party in the couple is doing something they don’t want others to know, well, my guess is they probably don’t want their partner to know it either and they probably just shouldn’t be doing it, whatever it is. So, my opinion is that it probably should be out there.
That all said, I would NOT deliberately kiss and tell. But if I’ve tried every solution possible and still have unresolved issues, why wouldn’t I look online, everyone does, don’t they? Or if the relationship is over and the person was not a good person, people should be aware, I think. Again, I would want to be made aware if someone was a “player” or “abuser” or “user.”
Too many of us women have been taken down the garden path by smooth talking machines and I’m not saying women don’t do this because some do. Announcing their modus operandi is akin to a public service in those cases. At least then I could make an informed decision about whether I want to become involved with a freeloader or a womanizer. Secrets are usually very dangerous anyway. Based on my own life experience(s), just my opinion.