In an effort to wrap up this series in one lifetime, I offer part 2 of what I hope will be a three-part piece on “What women do NOT want.” In my experience, observations and research, we women do not want: A LOOKY LOO
This guy is a gentleman to the nth degree. Until you find that every time you are out anywhere, his eye is anywhere except on you. He is watching every young waitress in sight and can’t even keep the conversation straight with you, he is so distracted. His eye follows the behind or the chest of some girl or other everywhere you go, inside, outside or otherwise. The only time he really gives you his full attention is when you are alone. No thanks.
One of my long time single friends said he used to look at every gorgeous woman out there until he met his wife. His long-standing criteria was: blonde, sweet and 25. His wife is exactly his age (early fifties), on the plump side with more junk in the trunk than 3 twenty-five year olds. While she is a lovely woman to those of us who know and care deeply for her, most probably wouldn’t look twice at her on the street because, not to be unkind but there is nothing physically outstanding about her at all. But my friend is in love with her. That’s all that counts. Years ago, I told him many times he would be happier with someone his own age and when he started dating her, I noted that she’s not his typical choice, she’s a natural brunette to boot and he said: “I don’t even see other women around me anymore. Eight years later, he still says:She is the only one I want and the only woman I think about.” THAT is what I WANT. A looky loo is what I do NOT want.
A BOO HOO
Someone who treats you terribly, telling you he doesn’t want you to talk to any of your mutual friends or family about why the relationship ended. Of course he doesn’t. Because they would see him for the jerk he is and he won’t be considered such a “good guy.” Apparently this is a frequently occurring phenomenon in many women’s lives when relationships end. It’s my opinion that guys who don’t want you to boo-hoo just don’t want you interfering with their “me, myself and I show.”
I remember asking the first guy I was serious about when I left my marriage, “How would you like your married and not yet married daughters to feel as I feel? I take it you would be okay with it, if their husbands or boyfriends betray them and treat them as you did me?” He turned red as cooked lobster and sputtered,”I hope you won’t be saying anything to them about me. If you do, I want you to know there will be legal repercussions.” Listen, I said, you can threaten me with all the legal repercussions you want but all I have to do is tell the truth. I will not lie for you and if anyone ever asks me, it’s MY choice whether I want to tell them the truth or say I simply don’t wish to talk about it, not YOURS!” He was furious, threw his glasses across the room and I called the police. Through the grape-vine I hear his ex had to call them as did the girlfriend after me. See any pattern emerging here? I sure do. Now.
I should have known when he avoided divorce court because, he claimed, they would paint him a cheat and a liar. Just go tell the truth, I encouraged, but he got around going at all and that should have been my first clue. While I do agree there are two sides to every story, if any guy boo-hoos to you about his last wife/girlfriend(s) or even ALL of their previous relationships as happened to me, chances are it won’t be long before he’s boo-hooing to a new woman about all the wrongs you done him, too.
This guy is a fool who strings multiple women along by calling all of you sweetie, that way he cannot get anyone confused. Beware the old “I thought you were my sister in law” line. I’ve heard it from two guys and guess what? Apparently I’m not the only one to get that line. Come on, how could I sound like BOTH of their sister-in-laws? The only two serious relationships since my marriage, that would be a some sort of divine coincidence if not such a clearly emerging pattern.
I believe they were taking calls from so many different women, they didn’t even know who I was. This was evident when they learned it was me and their tone went from playful to that tone that says you weren’t who I was wanting to call me right now. Realistically, what guy gets that playful voiced or excited about a call from a sister-in-law, anyway? Wait. Maybe the sister-in-law is more than just a sister-in-law. Who am I to assume what their relationship is about. Anyway, I don’t serial date, do multi-men and I don’t WANT to.
Players, nailers, whatever the popular classification is for these machines, they are NOT what I want, that is for sure. And I don’t believe any woman I know would want them either.
July 27 2011
Phew. I’m tired. Part III one day soon… hope to wrap it then but who knows… the more research I do and the more evidence I collect, the more this baby just keeps growing… I promise it won’t take nine months to complete though, LOL. Thanks for the read :)