Humor me, please. Yes, I admit it, I live in love and wonderment. Please do not disturb me. I do pretty well this way, walking a fine balance of the goodness I wish to live and the harsh realities of the world we live in. I am loved by many and love many in return as well as the world around us. Do not mistake this for sleepwalking, I am usually quite alert but choose what enters into or is privileged to live in my psyche. Learning, learning, learning, hope you are too :)
Yesterday, I was deemed as having the emotions of a naïve 12-year-old. In fairness, it was also stated that I am a highly intelligent, articulate woman but my emotions are cause for concern because of this child-like wonderment I still have for the world around me and the willingness to believe the best of people until they prove otherwise to me. I was told that I should invert that thinking. I really am not comfortable doing so. The person who said it is not a highly esteemed therapist or anyone with any real knowledge of walking in my moccasins of having to end a 30+ year relationship, a year-long health scare (all is well) and the multiple loss after loss after loss all in the past two years! A little loving support and acceptance of who I am goes a very long way in my world right now. If I could say one kind thing to all who mean well, please, if you have not walked it, please do not try to “talk it” to anyone. It’s slightly insulting to our intelligence that another might loft themselves to the throne of judgement when their own life experiences most likely pale by comparison.
My friend yesterday spoke of the world becoming a very dark place and falling apart around us, which is his world view as he is into the markets, finance, and all of that, to which I said, “Perhaps. I am not oblivious to it. I simply choose not to dwell and ruminate on what I cannot change. I focus on goodness and kindness in my own little corner of the world and hope it ripples out.” You don’t even watch the news, he said. I do occasionally, I said, but I do not choose to feast on it. While I care for my friend very much and both valued his feedback and validated his points, when I started defending myself as a Highly Sensitive Person, I realized I am tired of doing that, too and referred him to Elaine Aron’s work “The Highly Sensitive Person” http://www.hsperson.com/pages/test.htm.
Weary of judgements founded on assumption as opposed to “appreciation.” Myself, I think it is nothing short of a damned amazing miracle that I have worked in the dark side of the justice system, survived a challenging colorful childhood that would test many an adult backbone to the nucleus, a marriage that would test the saintliest of saints, and life losses/tests of the past two years that would easily see others curl into a ball forevermore. Three cheers to all who have managed to retain a child-like wonderment for life in spite of, or perhaps because of, all the darkness one can so readily feast on in the world. If they so choose. I do not.
I meant to write something else here today but Tom Robbins says so many things so much better than I ever could, let me share his brilliance with you today in a few of his quotes. Yesterday my friend said, “Why aren’t you in a convent? You should be a nun. All I want to do is protect you.” So I do know my friend means well and I did want to be a nun when I was a teenager because it was, in my then mind, about as good as goodness could get. But I cannot be a nun for various reasons. One reason is I am in love with Tom Robbins.
There aren’t many people I would say this of, but I’d marry Tom Robbins if I could. Brilliant writer, thinker and life liver I have long admired for his ability to think outside the norm and turn what others see as a negative into a reason to live, to shout louder, be who we truly are. No matter what. Here is just a tiny peek into his brilliant intellect and individualistic mind:
“We waste time looking for the perfect lover, instead of creating the perfect love.”
“The highest function of love is that it makes the loved one a unique and irreplaceable being.”
“Love is the ultimate outlaw. It just won’t adhere to any rules. The most any of us can do is to sign on as its accomplice. Instead of vowing to honor and obey, maybe we should swear to aid and abet. That would mean that security is out of the question. The words “make” and “stay” become inappropriate. My love for you has no strings attached. I love you for free.”
“When we’re incomplete, we’re always searching for somebody to complete us. When, after a few years or a few months of a relationship, we find that we’re still unfulfilled, we blame our partners and take up with somebody more promising. This can go on and on–series polygamy–until we admit that while a partner can add sweet dimensions to our lives, we, each of us, are responsible for our own fulfillment. Nobody else can provide it for us, and to believe otherwise is to delude ourselves dangerously and to program for eventual failure every relationship we enter.”
“When two people meet and fall in love, there’s a sudden rush of magic. Magic is just naturally present then. We tend to feed on that gratuitous magic without striving to make any more. One day we wake up and find that the magic is gone. We hustle to get it back, but by then it’s usually too late, we’ve used it up. What we have to do is work like hell at making additional magic right from the start. It’s hard work, but if we can remember to do it, we greatly improve our chances of making love stay.”
“People are never perfect, but love can be.”
“The world is a wonderfully weird place, consensual reality is significantly flawed, no institution can be trusted, certainty is a mirage, security a delusion, and the tyranny of the dull mind forever threatens — but our lives are not as limited as we think they are, all things are possible, laughter is holier than piety, freedom is sweeter than fame, and in the end it’s love and love alone that really matters.”
“Our lives are not as limited as we think they are; the world is a wonderfully weird place; consensual reality is significantly flawed; no institution can be trusted, but love does work; all things are possible; and we all could be happy and fulfilled if we only had the guts to be truly free and the wisdom to shrink our egos and quit taking ourselves so damn seriously.”
“There are many things worth living for, a few things worth dying for, and nothing worth killing for.”
“Just because you’re naked doesn’t mean you’re sexy. Just because you’re cynical doesn’t mean you’re cool.”
“Death is simple. Life is messy. Give me life, the more complicated the better.”
“A sense of humor…is superior to any religion so far devised.”
“There is no such thing as a weird human being, It’s just that some people require more understanding than others.”
“It’s never too late to have a happy childhood.”
“Humanity has advanced, when it has advanced, not because it has been sober, responsible, and cautious, but because it has been playful, rebellious, and immature.”
“Our individuality is all, all, that we have. There are those who barter it for security, those who repress it for what they believe is the betterment of the whole society, but blessed in the twinkle of the morning star is the one who nurtures it and rides it in, in grace and love and wit, from peculiar station to peculiar station along life’s bittersweet route.”
“In the haunted house of life, art is the only stair that doesn’t squeak.”
“Curiosity, especially intellectual inquisitiveness, is what separates the truly alive from those who are merely going through the motions.”
“Now tequila may be the favored beverage of outlaws but that doesn’t mean it gives them preferential treatment. In fact, tequila probably has betrayed as many outlaws as has the central nervous system and dissatisfied wives. Tequila, scorpion honey, harsh dew of the doglands, essence of Aztec, crema de cacti; tequila, oily and thermal like the sun in solution; tequila, liquid geometry of passion; Tequila, the buzzard god who copulates in midair with the ascending souls of dying virgins; tequila, firebug in the house of good taste; O tequila, savage water of sorcery, what confusion and mischief your sly, rebellious drops do generate!”
“To achieve the impossible, it is precisely the unthinkable that must be thought.”
“Those who shun the whimsy of things will experience rigor mortis before death.”
“The enemy of the black is not the white. The enemy of capitalist is not communist, the enemy of homosexual is not heterosexual, the enemy of Jew is not Arab, the enemy of youth is not the old, the enemy of hip is not redneck, the enemy of Chicano is not gringo and the enemy of women is not men. We all have the same enemy. The enemy is the tyranny of the dull mind. The enemy is every expert who practices technocratic manipulation, the enemy is every proponent of standardization and the enemy is every victim who is so dull and lazy and weak as to allow himself to be manipulated and standardized.”
“Disbelief in magic can force a poor soul into believing in government and business.”
“As a child, I was an imaginary playmate.”~~~ Wasn’t that fun? Well, I sure enjoyed putting it together for you. Yours in Love and Wonderment, Janice (c) JAM, HSP 12Jan2012 (All quotes found online via Google searches, Images: Zemanta)